I'm tired of famous nobodies. I'm tired of trailer trash dramas. I'm tired of American television.
When village idiots get their own cable shows, it demeans America. Foreigners start to believe that all Americans are like that.
Ask yourself, if you were an Iranian citizen exposed to American television, what would be your impression of America? Americans may criticize Islamic arranged marriages but not only does America have arranged marriages, the competition is played out on American television. After the engagement is announced, the subsequent fights are conducted in the tabloids, and you are supposed to choose sides. Eventually, there is a rumor about a pregnancy and questions of who did the deed.
If a woman steals another man's husband and has several children, natural and adopted, there will be rumors of the man going back to the first wife, and rumors of pregnancy.
When you are old and near death, three younger women will move into your mansion, one will leave and be replaced, but the concubine will get her own cable show, a different husband, and tabloids will question the parentage of any resulting children.
When that show is over, several other shows come on - but the subtitles for each show read - Guess Who is the Father of that Child? Two contestants compete to see if their paternity tests reveal that they are the dad, but sometimes both contestants fail and a third man is the true parent. Then the two men chase the woman as security holds them back. Hilarity ensues.
One pattern is clear about America - rumored pregnancies and debates about parentage make for entertainment in America.
This is not to say that America has forgotten the attraction of violence. There is WWE, a fake form of wrestling where Stanislavski-trained gymnasts emote about themes of betrayal, revenge, and redemption. This is followed by some form of ultimate fighting or mixed martial arts, another fake form of fighting where the emotional story is told more in a documentary style. Not that America does not ever show real fighting. They call it hockey.
Then there are game shows, where contestants play in the hopes of winning large amounts of money. For some reason, they never stop playing after they have won a decent sum of money but instead continue with the game as the audience cheers their stupidity until they go broke. It should be a moral lesson about the dangers of greed, but next week someone else comes along and does the same thing. This happens week after week.
The balance of American television consists of only one show called CSI - followed by the name of an American city, such as New York, or Hoboken. There is always a wacky lab assistant who makes you wonder who his/her parents are to produce so strange a child. Also, you learn that the key to solving a crime is to take off your sunglasses at just the right time.
There is something called news that appears from time to time, but this appears as phony as the WWE. Any important news story becomes a game show where a panel of experts in video boxes straight out of "The Brady Bunch" argue about what people should believe about a story until the truth becomes a matter of consensus opinion rather than a matter of fact.
You dream about one day going to America, living in a mansion with three whores, being a sports star, and inflicting violence upon others for ratings. Maybe you will find a wife on a game show, or lose a great deal of money on a game show. If you misbehave enough, you may get a spinoff show of your own. You might decide that, Great Satan or not, America is a great country and Americans are fine people. If only they didn't have to constantly worry about the parentage of their children.
Marvin Wolf is a Newark consumer and bankruptcy law attorney who is a regular contributor to Local Talk. This article provides legal information, news and individual opinion, and not legal advice. Mr. Wolf can be contacted through his office at (973) 735-2740 or his website www.wolfprotect.com.
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As a result, about 99% of IBOs operate at a net loss, while the top 1% make several TIMES more from their Amway tool scam than from the Amway products. This was made illegal in the UK in 2008, but our FTC is unable to pull their heads out of their butts to stop it here.