In case you hadn’t heard, Chinese V.P. Xi Jinping is visiting the U.S. Mr. Xi is considered to be the heir apparent to China’s leadership. Unless he knows something we don’t know.
He has spent a great deal of time in Iowa. Why? Well, Iowa supplies a lot of soybeans and other grain to China. Also, I suspect Mr. Xi is considering a larger purchase - why not buy the entire state? They have the money to do it - our money, but money is money.
At first, I thought V.P. Xi had a more sinister motive - running for U.S. President. After all, he’s a Washington outsider with a working class background. He has a track record of producing results. More importantly, he’s not Mitt Romney. Okay, he’s from the Communist Party, but compared with the current crop of candidates, that doesn’t sound as strange. Republican voters might overlook that since he comes from a country known for tea - which should appeal to the Tea Party.
Then I realized the Iowa caucuses were last month. By the way, why is it caucuses and not cauci? But I digress.
I suppose Mr. Xi might still be running for U.S. President and is a cauci’d optimist. He could be hoping for his turn for a surge.
Later he went to Washington, where he spoke to Congressional leaders, including John McCain. Hmm. A Xi-McCain ticket might appeal to some moderates.
There is the problem that he’s not a U.S. citizen. Still, according to some people, that didn’t stop Barack Obama.
Xi would be a force to reckon with. China could outspend Mitt Romney. He could counter Mitt Romney negative advertising by simply arresting and torturing the opposition. He could even play the Iran card. “Vote for me and I’ll stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons.”
Of course, I could be wrong. He may have another motive. He might be here to play for the Knicks.
Still, it makes you think. If he ran, he might win. Because he has the most critical attribute of all. He’s not Barack Obama.
Marvin Wolf is a satirical columnist for Local Talk.
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