The new iOS is out - the new iOS is out! But the phone remains the same.
I’m talking about the news from Apple. The new iPhone 5 has just been revealed - and it’s called the iPhone 4S. Since everyone was expecting it to be called iPhone 5, the stock price of Apple dropped dramatically. Such a difference just one little number can make.
All the prior iPhones are now cheaper, if not obsolete. My $500 iPhone 3GS was discounted to $199 when I bought it with a 2 year plan a little over 2 years ago, was just $50 last month, and is now given away for free with a new 2 year plan. That’s some pretty fast depreciation in value - almost as fast as the U.S. dollar has been dropping.
The new operating system is supposed to be compatible with my older phone - for now. I’m sure my phone will continue to work, but much slower with the new OS and will only run some of the features of the newer phone, while draining the battery faster. They call it progress even when you go backwards. It might be smarter to refuse to upgrade. I like speed and longer battery life.
So what will I get with OS 5? One of the newest features is Siri, a voice command feature. You talk into the phone and say “Tea, Earl Gray - hot” and the phone makes tea for you. Or maybe just shows a picture of a cup of tea on a food transporter pad. Or depending on how well it understands you, may turn up a picture of Erin Gray from the old Buck Rogers show (to be fair, she is hot). My old phone will not do this. I have to type with my fingers to download dirty pictures.
They changed the camera button from the front of the phone to the side of the phone. The next one will have the button inside the phone so you can’t press it, but maybe you can just say “click” and the camera will understand you. Also, with my older phone, I won’t be able to edit the pictures I take to get rid of the “red eye” problem. That’s okay, my eyes are usually naturally red from lack of sleep, so I won’t be missing that feature. One thing is clear, though. In a few more generations, I won’t be owning a phone with a camera in it, I’ll be owning a camera with a phone in it.
You can do text messaging with “the cloud.” You talk to the cloud. The cloud talks back to you. You take a walk with the cloud. Sounds like a foggy feature to me
You can store files on the cloud too. Then you can sync with the cloud. Sounds like the cloud and you are getting pretty chummy. Before you know it, the cloud will be asking to borrow five bucks from you.
Of course, no matter what the phone does, people will claim it’s not as good as Android. Android does everything first and Apple takes the credit. Android even got computer viruses first.
If I want a bunch of extra features in my OS that I can actually use, I will need to shell out more money for the 4S phone which still does not run 4G, so it’s considered 4F even though it plays 3D. Or wait another year for the 4S to become obsolete when the 5 comes out, so I can buy the 4S for less money even though it won’t run all the new features of OS6.
Plus, people are already advertising that if I pay them, they will crack my phone. If I want to crack my phone, I don’t need them. All I have to do is drop it.
What’s next? I’ve heard a rumor about the upcoming OS 6 - codenamed Kim Jong Il. That one will also have voice commands, but you won’t command it - it will command you. That’s progress.
Marvin Wolf is an attorney and satirical columnist for Local Talk.
Subscribe to this comment's feed
