Sexual abuse of a child is when a child is inappropriately exposed or subjected to sexual contact, activity or behavior. It includes any type of sexual contact and can include sexual objects. It is done by an offender. Other forms of sexual abuse include pornography, using a child as a prostitute, exhibition, solicitation or erotic behavior.

It has been reported that sexual abuse takes place more than 80,000 times a year. This is not a reliable number because many cases of sexual abuse are not reported. Many times, the victims are afraid to tell. It may be a long time before they share their story. There are feelings of shame. The offender may play a part in keeping this abuse as a secret. Sometimes, children are provided with candy, toys or other forms of gifts to maintain secrecy.

We often think that sex abuse occurs mostly with strangers. This is not always true. This is common within family members. These include uncles, brothers, sisters, grandfathers, stepfathers and biological fathers. Neighbors and teachers are not excluded from this group.

When families are separated for a long period of time and they rejoin, the siblings do not feel bonded to each other. This contributes to a physical attraction for a family member that has not been part of the household. In my work with sexual abuse, I have found male siblings who engage sexually with their sisters. These have separated for years and finally came to live in the same household. Parents feel at a loss because they do not know how to handle these situations. Parents do not want to lose either child.

Sexual abuse affects victims psychologically. Children after the age of five years feel trapped between the affection they are getting and the understanding that this is a bad thing to engage in. They are confused in this situation. Many times, they begin to act out. They begin to sexualize everything around them. There are cases where the child begins to feel his private parts in public. They also begin to rub themselves on a carpet or on the sofa. Parents have reported that the child is beginning to masturbate.

Children need to receive professional help. This type of activity will not disappear. It is very important to understand this. Talking about it is not enough. Children become very confused when this happens to them. A therapist will help the child understand what happened and why it happened. If this does not take place, children do not understand sexual roles. They do not know what is appropriate and what is not. They grow up confused and grow up having difficulties in adult relationships.

When families come from other countries and sex abuse occurs within the families, there is a fear of reporting it to the police. Families are afraid of deportation if they are not here legally. This is a very difficult decision for them to make. When this is not reported, children come to school with behavior problems. They are then referred to the counselor. If there is suspicion of sexual abuse, the Division of Child and Family Services is called.

They initiate an investigation where the parents must become involved. This is a serious issue for the school and the families. It must be reported so that the appropriate help can be sought for the child. If not, children grow up distrusting adults and sometimes suicide becomes an option.

When a child indicates sexual abuse, it is important to make the child feel secure. This helps the child feel that he/she can talk about what happened and how long it has been occurring. A child can never be blamed. This occurs in some households where the mother holds the child responsible and protects the offender.

It is not fair for an offender to be protected while a child has been abused. There is no excuse for the offender. This type of act destroys the lives of children and leaves deep rooted scars. A professional counselor, therapist and/or psychiatrist can provide help. Parents have a responsibility to protect their children.

 

References:

 

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Child=Sexual&Abuse§ion=Facts=for=families

www.preventchildsexulabuse.org

 

For more information, you can check the following websites:

 

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Child+Sexual+Abuse&Section=Facts+for+Families

www.preventchildabuse.org

http://www.religoustolerance.org/chil_int.htm

 

You may contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it - Attn: Dr. Mercedes Valle